This morning I had an interesting conversation with a female about women in the Linux community. First I didn't even know that she was a female and to be honest, I didn't care.
I don't care about gender, religion, what you wear, what you drive or anything. If you are nice to me, I'm nice to you. If you are shitty to me, I will ask for the reason.
It started with a "Thank you"-message that came rather unexpected since I never saw that username before. The message explained how glad this person is that I try to teach some new Linux users the different ways of how to use a Linux distribution in the first place and how to have fun with the different ways it offers.
In that message it was explained how this person was unable to teach a friend on how to use Linux and get comfortable with everything that surrounds it. I answered the way I always do: "Nothing to thank me for, I'm glad when there are people willing to learn."
Curious as I am, I asked if the person would also be interested to join us, but I got declined and asked for the reason.
With the allowance I got from her, I will quote a couple of things (thanks for letting me do so) and I will refer to her as Nelly
in this text since she asked me to do so.
Nelly: I think my skills could be better, but from what I've heard from my friend it's a beginner course. I'm glad to hear how you treat women in their but I don't wish to make myself a target.
Owl: I also can teach advanced things depending on what you want to learn. May I ask what you mean with target? I don't treat men and women any different.
Nelly: I am a Linux user now for 5 years. When I started with Linux, someone told me that the Linux community is open and helpful. When I joined a Linux forum and people found out I'm a female, I instantly got treated differently.
Owl: Can you tell me in what way it was different?
Nelly: Before they knew I am a female, I got treated like everyone else and I enjoyed the forum. The moment they found out, people started to look down on me. I was even told that a women would have more problems with understand everything IT in general.
Owl: That's horrible and just wrong. Did you get in contact with moderators or the webmaster?
Nelly: I did, but nothing ever came from it. There was one user that got banned after a certain event, but nothing else.
Owl: If you don't wanna tell me that's fine be me, but would you mind telling me about that event?
Nelly: He publicly harassed me by asking for nude photos, complimenting me randomly when I was just asking for help, things like that.
Owl: I'm sorry that happened. I hope this was this only instance where you had to experience such a thing.
Nelly: Sadly no. I started to move away from this forum and got into other places but things never got really better until I started using 'manly' usernames and hide.
Owl: This is certainly an option but I guess it's not the best?
Nelly: Surely not, but I don't know what else to do. Women in the IT and especially interested in Linux are fairly rare. Sometimes people treat you differently, sometimes you get harassed and sometimes they even want to have proof that you are really a women.
Owl: Sadly I know for myself that there are people like that outside, but let me tell you they don't only exist in the Linux community but almost anywhere.
Nelly: I know that, but for now I'm staying hidden and enjoy my 'freedom' that way.
This whole chat got on for a couple of hours. I knew that some communities might be a bit harsh on women and certain people are behaving like cavemen.
I was sad to hear that this keeps women away from expressing themselves and I told Nelly a couple of places where she would be able to enjoy her freedom with the protection of members and admins that care about equal treatment.
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